I was recently told a story of three loves in a lifetime.
First love is the high school love. The feeling as though nobody is as important as this person nor will anyone ever be. The I will never love anyone else or as much as I’ve loved you feeling.
Second love is the hard love. The all-consuming, lesson learned, dysfunctional love. The love that taught you more about yourself than any other person ever could. This love is the addicting love. It’s fighting, screaming, loving, and passion. The thing about this love…it’s not permanent. It is meant to show you exactly what you don’t deserve and what you won’t tolerate.
This third love, so they say, is your lifetime love. It’s the love that shakes us to our core and we didn’t know it could exist. It’s the love that feels right and everything you’ve ever hoped for.
Well I’m here to tell all of you still walking through that second love, there is more. It gets better. It gets easier and I don’t mean with the second love I mean without them. I cannot say this because I have this so called third love but I can say this because I don’t. I can say what I do know about my second love…
I had one day of courage. I had one moment to pull my inner strength and say “ENOUGH.”How I did it? Strength from God, my family, & MYSELF. All it took was one day for me to give up that high of “I love him, I need him and I will never love anyone again.” I took a step back and had a weekend away with family to get away from the influence of my love towards him. I did a lot of soul searching that weekend. I prayed so hard God would change him, shape him, and mold him into the Godly man I just KNEW he had inside of him. But then in the midst of many tears and many prayers I heard God say, just surrender, I am waiting here for you.
Now can I say I drove straight home dumped him and went on with my life? No, it took me two days of sleeping next to him in our already tense home life to muster up the courage. On day two, my ex asked what was going on with me and that he knew I was detaching myself from him. I broke down right then and there and said I can’t do it anymore. And he was ok with it. Of course he was. He was always a very proud man. He never asked me to stay. He proved to me that he was exactly the man he had been showing me he was for seven years.
It was an uphill journey after that. Battling with wanting him back, hating him, loving him, wishing things were different, but they weren’t. Now I’m here, a one-year+ survivor of a broken heart, and I’m telling y’all…the view from the top is worth it. Keep climbing. Find it, find your strength somehow. Get help from your friends & your family. Be honest with them in your desperation of healing. Talk to a counselor. SEEK GOD. Allow God to heal your very core. You cannot heal the deep wounds a person has left in you by covering them up with another person. You have to be YOU without another. Sure, a little distraction here and there is great but don’t allow someone else in to the broken you. Bring someone in to see the healed you. The complete person.
Sure there may be this great third love out there for me, but right now…My third love is me!